How Leaders Can Be Better Listeners
Have you ever caught yourself nodding along in a conversation whilst mentally preparing your shopping list? Or perhaps you've interrupted someone mid-sentence because you just couldn't wait to share your own story? Don't worry – we've all been there. But becoming a better listener isn't just about being polite; it's about building stronger relationships and understanding others on a deeper level.
The Foundation: Full Presence and Attention
Let's start with the basics. Being a good listener begins with giving your complete attention. That means maintaining appropriate eye contact and – yes, you guessed it – putting away your mobile phone. It's amazing how much more we notice when we're not distracted by that subtle buzz in our pocket.
Think of it like watching a film. You wouldn't scroll through social media during a crucial plot point, would you? The same applies to conversations. When someone's speaking, they deserve your undivided attention.
The Art of Active Listening
Active listening goes beyond simply hearing words. It's about engaging with the speaker through both verbal and non-verbal cues. A simple nod, an "mm-hmm," or even a thoughtful "I see" can show you're truly engaged.
But here's where many of us trip up: we interrupt or finish others' sentences. It's often done with good intentions – we're excited to show we understand or want to help. However, allowing others to express themselves completely is crucial. Think of it as giving someone the gift of space to share their thoughts fully.
Going Deeper: Understanding and Empathy
The real magic happens when we move beyond surface-level listening. This means:
Asking open-ended questions that encourage deeper discussion
Paying attention to non-verbal cues and emotional undertones
Reflecting back what we've heard to ensure understanding
For example, instead of asking, "Did you have a good day?" try "What was the most interesting part of your day?" Notice how this invites a more meaningful response?
The Mental Game: Managing Your Own Response
One of the biggest challenges in becoming a better listener is managing what's happening in our own heads. It's natural to want to relate everything back to our own experiences or to start forming our response whilst someone's still speaking.
Instead, try this approach: focus entirely on understanding the speaker's message before even thinking about your reply. It's like solving a puzzle – you need all the pieces before you can see the complete picture.
Patience and presence are your allies here. Those moments of silence? They're not awkward gaps to be filled; they're valuable spaces where people can gather their thoughts or process emotions.
Creating a Safe Space
Being a good listener means creating an environment where others feel safe to express themselves. This involves:
Suspending judgment, even when you disagree
Controlling your emotional reactions to challenging topics
Showing empathy for others' perspectives
Think about times when you've felt truly heard. What made those experiences different? Chances are, the listener made you feel safe and understood, rather than judged or dismissed.
The journey to becoming a better listener isn't about perfection – it's about progress. Start small: in your next conversation, try implementing just one or two of these techniques. Notice how the quality of your interactions changes when you focus more on understanding than on being understood.
Remember, every great conversation starts with someone willing to truly listen. By developing this skill, you're not just becoming a better communicator; you're building stronger, more meaningful relationships in all areas of your life.
Want to learn more about being a great listener? Litmus helps people and teams feel in their element and communicate in a way that’s anything but neutral.
Take a look at our Services or get in touch to find out more.